Part 2 begins here (
Part 1 is HERE) with another sessions with Karl Bastien. This was a very practical session as well untitled, “Making your discipline problems disappear”. We all sort of chuckled in that knowing way. We all sort of chuckled and thought of those kids that can be trying sometimes. We all sort of chuckled and as Karl said, “Let’s be honest, it’s probably a boy.”
So he begins his talk by saying, “Most problems don’t lie with the child, but with the teacher.” Ouch! I could hear myself searching for a “But”. But he was right. I have to ask myself, why am I no longer captivating the young person? How can I be a better communicator? What can I do to be better?
He made sure there were no senior pastors in the room, and then told us he was going to quote a verse of the Bible WAY out of context! He said that this was no way to practice
Hermeneutics. But he quoted, Job 29:24, “If I mocked at them, they did not believe it, And the light of my countenance they did not cast down.”
What do the faces in the lives of young people look like? Often they will be people that scowl at them, or have angry faces. So then how should I look when they see me? They should see my light and sunny countenance. I took this to heart as a few people that told me that I scowl or frown lots. Usually it is just me focusing, or squinting to see, but I decided to try to make a point of smiling with my young disciples.
As people charged with teaching young people, we must redefine discipline. Problems with discipline are now opportunities to teach and mold, not to control them. Two VERY different ideas.
Another thing that sort of made me think was, why do we expect kids to sit quietly, have perfect attention, follow all the rules perfectly, when as adults we rarely do those things?
If we don’t have our lives together, why do we expect it of kids? More grace needed.
Kids are supposed to disobey. They are new to the earth. They are like little scientists.
Thomas Edison worked through 1000 failures before finally creating the light bulb. He didn’t see it that way though. He saw it a learning 1000 ways not to make a light bulb. When a kid screams or yells or does whatever other inappropriate behaviour, if we hold our ground, they have just learn another way NOT to get their own way.
Young people are like explorers. They make mistakes, but that is part of discovery! In those mistakes is where we have the opportunity to guide them and to truly impact them.
There is a difference between disobedience (sin) and wrong or inappropriate behaviour. Sometimes Pastor Karl said that people make so much of a big deal about inappropriate behaviour rather than those things that are sin. Don’t treat errors as rebellion or mistakes as sin.
Kids disobey because they have a sinful nature. It is that part of them that wants to find the easy way out. Karl said that all sin is the result of something in us that we need, and that we perceive that we are not getting from God, so we go out and seek it elsewhere. I’m still thinking about this, but there does seem to be some merit to it. Part of the issue with kids and young people is trying to find that “thing” that they are after. As mentors we may be able to meet the need that they have, but in a way that is appropriate.
To help with behaviour, young people need limits that are spelled out so that they know what is expected. He tells this story about a dog running around the yard, but that stops at the edge of the yard without going past. Turns out that the dog had a collar that shocked it if it went past the boundary—a fact Karl discovers as the dog freaks out in pain as he tries to carry it over boundary. He then stresses the importance of being consistent so that the young person doesn’t get frustrated and think, “Fine, this too hard, I’ll just stay in my dog house.”
The real goal of all ministry is not to teach them appropriate behaviour, but to see heart change. Always be sure to separate the child from the behaviour. God loves the child, and has a plan for the child, it is the behaviour that discipline is to change… and the love of God flowing through each of us that love kids that helps to lead them to Jesus.
Lead clearly and strongly. If you don’t have a plan for the kids they WILL have a plan for you. Create a warm, welcoming atmosphere. Look for the kids where the cup is leaking… Maybe they are not getting the love at home.
My second workshop was a bit of an experiment. I went into it not really knowing what to expect. It was about how to market a ministry to young people. Ron Ellis and his wife run Lifeline Resources a supplier of curriculum to churches and stores. One of their major products is
Discipleland, which was developed by a pastor that wasn’t seeing what he wanted in the curriculum that was available.
Mr. Ellis compared a Children’s ministry to a small business in the way that it is structured, and he said that one of the things that he has done is worked with start-up companies to look at some of the things that they go through, and he has tried to come up with some practical ways of developing a small ministry.
He spoke for some time about the idea of developing a vision and a mission for the ministry. The vision tells people what the purpose of the ministry is, while the mission sets out some key points as to how you are going to get there over a few years. What is it that you want to accomplish or achieve?
He emphasized the point that in a healthy situation, it is the parents that should do the discipling of their kids. Totally agree. The church should emphasize what is already being taught in the home. All I could think is, “Oh fallen world… if only it all fit into the neat perfect will of God.” More and more we see kids where they are the first one in their house to be saved. Or maybe they are living with one saved parent, and they go to live with an unsaved parent from time to time. Sometimes people in the church are the only time those kids get fed spiritually. If I had one meal a week, I would be starving. Spiritually it is the same. That being said, the home SHOULD be their first source of God, but God’s grace sometimes makes that the church until the rest of the family can be drawn to the cross.
He really emphasized the role of prayer in ministry. There should be prayer for the children, prayer for the teaching teams, prayer for the pastors, prayer during Sunday School, prayer for all staff. It is something that is so important, and can be forgotten. But like a pin in a grenade, your whole ministry time can blow up in your face if you forget to pray.
He shared a handout (which I have not read all of) and some books that might be of interest:
- Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions By George Barna
- The Complete Book of Discipleship By Bill Hull
- Revolutionary Parenting By George Barna
The closing session with Karl Bastien was about how to make disciples. One of the key things that he teaches his kids is that whatever he says to them, he has to be able to show how the Bible also says that. He challenges them to make sure what he is saying is in the Bible. He shared two examples:
He was discussing something with one of the boys in a class. The boy asked him if there was fire in hell, and together they found the verses. Yes, there is fire in hell. The boy then asked him if it was dark in hell. Together they found the verses, yes, it was dark in hell. This prompted the question, “Well, if there is fire in hell, and it is dark in hell, how is that possible if fire gives off light?”
Well this prompted a mad search for the answer… which began with the words “I don’t know.” Karl brought it up at one of his pastor’s meetings. All of them were seminary trained. He thought for sure someone would know this answer. Nope. No one knew. He asked it of anyone that he thought might have an idea. Finally, if came down to someone that used to work with race cars. He said, “It must be some kind of alcohol fuel.” The racing tech explained (and I knew this because of my lovely wife) that in race cars they often use alcohol fuel. They can be on fire and the fuel burns invisibly. I (Jason) have seen on TV, a man flailing around as he jumps out of his car because he is on fire. The flames are invisible, and his pit crew have to put him out.
Karl, being the teacher that he is, demonstrates the process with that kid. He sets it up safely, but refuses to tell the young man what the chemical is, for fear that he might repeat the experiment. The start the fire, but see nothing. They take turns moving their hand in close to the source of the invisible heat. The boy wants to know what it is. Karl makes him promise not to do this at home, and reluctantly tells him that it is a kind of alcohol.
A couple of days later Karl gets a call from the boy’s mother. He takes the call, and she says, did you tell my son about how alcohol burns? He first thinks, “Oh, no!”, and then is able to confirm that he has not set something on fire. The mom confirms that the house is safe. She opens up. The boy’s father is not saved. He has been into alcohol, and some things have happened where he has ended up in prison. During a visit, this young boy tells his father that he has to make some changes to his life, and that if he dies and goes to hell that all the alcohol he has been drinking will be the kind of thing that fuels hell.
Theologically, this may not be sound, but this is the conversation that begun the process of that man getting his life right with God, and restoration of that family happening… all because a faithful pastor told the kids to make sure what he taught them came from the Bible. Reminds me of the Bereans that Paul commends.
Another thing he noted was how we tend to teach kids that heaven’s streets are paved with gold. He did a search and could find evidence of streets and gold anywhere. As it turns out, the main street in the New Jerusalem is the street (singular) that is paved with gold.
As a teacher or a pastor, the best compliment you can receive is that you rock! To be that teacher consider how you look to kids. Are you exciting? Do you maybe dress a little crazy? Does your face look like you sucked a lemon?
Are you so wrapped up in what you want to do that you miss the kid that needs a hug? Do you put your best effort into everything that you do? Do you decorate the room to be exciting? Does it have a character all its own? Does your teaching use more than one of their senses? Do you find ways to touch base with them outside of the Sunday meeting? Especially with social media and cell phones and the like, the opportunity is there. Do you go to their school plays? Their sporting events? Just be there for the young people when you can.
The most important thing about all of this is to make disciples! Without that there is nothing. If we are too busy worrying about the “stuff” but for get their souls, what good are we?
This was a great time of refreshing for people that love kids, and are called to minister to them. I am glad that this is part of my calling, and can’t wait to keep pouring into young people.
Part 1 is HERE.
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